it was all meant to be

would you believe me or would you agree?

[you cant agree to disagree]

my tears

are streaming down my face. 

leaving blurriness in my eyes, twisted unclear visions. 

salty taste in my mouth. 

& my heart un-wraping & shattering into pieces. 

i cant pick them up. 

mommy, daddy.

all im asking for is;

the love for your daughter.

they all say;

you don't hate them, you just hate what they're doing. 

but i'm hating who their becoming, & who their becoming is who they are. 

[i want the loving kind, the caring kind. please?]

did i catch your eye?

happy thanksgiving

what are you thankful for?

[i am thankful for; joy&lex&thoughts]

something wrong?

im fine. 

totally fine. 

[fine is not good, not good is bad.]

how about this weekend?

you & i

me & you

should do something, like soon. 

in the near future. 

[blue and purple]

what have i done this time?

i stumbled 

i liked it. 

but where am i?

lost?

yet again.

 

[its not as bad as i thought it was, but i think i fell back to black and white.]

NOT A GOOD SIGN !

i hope you know

that your always on my mind. 

& all i wanted was you. 

ill wait for you to come around, but till then ill stay quiet & let you figure it out.

[its so hard to not think of you]

oh but im shy & my colors run dry.

umm

i love you. 

you know that right?

why are you out?

a: its raining. 

j: obviously. 

a: i love rain, you love rain. 

j: & i love you. 

a: i love you too. 

j: no really why are you out?

a: well were looking for this movie & cigarettes & alcohol.

j: sounds fun. 

a: ya not really. 

j: okay bye. 

a: i love you.

[stay] 

the first step

to change; 

is your perspective. 

   lets try sepia from now on.

 

[& then let go of fear]

i realize.

As my self confidence is pushed down,

and my self esteem is lower than ever,

I realize how precious every friendship, every memory, everyone, everything I've ever came across really is.

cherish, till it breaks down on you.

rose

your my secret keeper.

please dont let me down. 

[she said: never]

in the weary dark of night.

But Im a little too tired, baby 
Its a little too late 

[i wish i was her]

yes!

i cant keep on like this.

letting go isn't easy. 

but it is easy if you believe it. 

if your willing to do it

for the right or the wrong reasons 

the thoughts going through my mi

nd 

are 

should i?

should i take that risk, that step, that chance?

should i leave them 

should i leave him 

should i leave her?

should i go?

should i?

its time for a change 

i need something 

I'm confident

I'm making that move 

I'm walking 

I'm holding joys hand 

& leaving sadness in the sandbox.

I'm moving onto the swings 

the swings. 

yes the swings 

[i dont think im ready, but im taking a risk]

define:

this

take a risk..

my water filled eyes, falling like

rainfall 

your careing but carless darling

Youre careful
When you say hi
Youre careful
When you kiss me, so softly.
Youre careful
When you hold me.
Youre careful
When you call me
Youre careful
When you tease me
Youre careful
When you hug me

You were careful when you broke my heart
You were careful
You split it up into equal pieces
Because you knew that, that way they could easily get put back together.

After that day your still careful with me.
Youre caring
Youre careful

( You can't be too careful anymore)

thank you;

for texting me. 

for caring about me. 

for listening to me. 

for your vibes. 

thank you for meeting me. 

thank you for being you.

 

[you know me better than i know my self]

boy.

dont you know that im right here?

[i will always be here for y ou]

it should.

Creativity takes courage 

- Henri Matisse 

r u n around and round and round

lets go out and play in our puffy pink dresses. 

lets get everything of our minds. 

and think about dolls and tea party's

lets be forever young. 

leave the room.

i have to face the world. 

i need to stop hiding under my blankets & running away like a scared little girl. 

this world is scary. 

you  have to go through so many things.. 

i need to start taking in the sparks of the fire in this life. 

start putting all the pieces to my puzzle. 

finding who i am, and who i dont want to be. 

its no game

i dont wanna play the broken hearted girl. 

joie

you're my bright star

but please

dont shine so bright

try to trytry

shine my dear 

shine 

just open up & s h i n e

i am

made fully out of flaws;

           stitched with good intentions.