im sure you remember

i believe in equality
but i dont believe in you


&her

im here to stay

it kills me
you werent mine
nor will you ever be

you spend all these minutes
on her
like she put the stars in the sky
when all she does it take them all
and keep them with her

you dont get it
do  you?
your weakness
is killing me

i gave it all
i gave you all
she gave you a kiss
and a sweet word
and you gave her the world
and a love bite

it kills me
it kills me to see that you wouldn't go that extra mile for me 

im just as weak but im not as blind.

the bittersweet
& the inbetween
open more than just your heart
spill out your(thoughts)
sing to me
with me
linger around my soul
and i feel your breaths all around my torso
ill hold you forever

i dont know what more
just open up
to me
with me
youll be all mine
and ill be all yours
 -infinite-

you cant feel this way forever

whatever this is

whatever i think this is

whatever we thought this was
hasn't turned out,
pieces by pieces
we're falling
down
down
d o w n

i think i found something,
i have nothing left
i loved you the most
you (most)

in the clouds i'm high up, with myself
you cant touch me
dont touch me
piece by piece
the ripple when the pebble hits the water, the white tips
seducing my feet
i can hear it
you said you never loved me
& i know i never will

head in the sea
i dont think there's ever going to be
a you
& me..

ahead

open me up
let me sing for you
all thats left of me

forever maybe
i lied when i said never
i dont get whats wrong with the picture

let me sing where theres an echo
let me listen
soul thirst
i need you

take as long as you like

you changed everything

rootless tree - damien rice 

its nothing to you and if you hate me, then hate me so good that you can let me out 

i dare you not to4get me

you  are
intoxicating

i want this

& ill run
& ill sacrifice
& when i tell you ill try
i mean it

i will
& ill fight
& ill cry
& ill fall
& when i tell you i cant
i hope you'll understand

ill try
& ill sacrifice
with you ill take tiny steps
but for you ill take leaps
holding your hand

& ill r u n
carefree
breaking through
running dry
&
outpouring

this is me
for you
i gave you me
i gave you myself
& more

then you took me away
& for that ill sacrifice
blood for blood

simply: i just want you

so self-destructive

im not good

im not healthy

for you

for myself

recognize me

home - daughter

burnt out flames should never re-ignite

soul kiss

break my addictions

& be my cigarette

roll it up

kill it off

take it away

with every grip

i grow more obsessed

(my valium)

every sound & reverb

every raw detail your voice projects

into me

out of lust

i want to refine you in white

maybe pink

and pop you like a pill

take you when i'm down

or on magic hill

so tell me, about myself.

the girl who visions ripping her self to pieces at a sight of a mirror

the girl who will die of insecurity

the girl sitting next to you

the girl who's diagnosed & patiently waiting for a cure

the girl by the phone

the sister that tries to create a satisfying impression

the daughter that hides depression

the student that struggles

the poet that writes about her pain

the teenager thats bottling up her tears

the stranger that walks by, with suicide crossing her mind

the one who is alone

the person living in shame

the one who's only asking for someone

to care.

i can't

but i fell in love

with the wrong person

at the wrong time

& as he left

he took it

he forgot to leave my heart behind

i told you; i'm not good enough

its friday

heavy dose of nicotine - pain killers - empty journals

17

where we go

lips interlocking

stains, black orchid stains

with every touch

soft movements across

his flesh

with every physical contact

like adrenaline, creeping in my veins

who knows?

remember this, jan17

"Reserved Parking

Thank You"

-

thats why i kissed you

but with you

i feel nothing+alive

at the same time.

dark

this is it

tip toes

on grave yards

flesh on fire

lips lit from matches

a walking sin

from a dark place

ill let you touch my skin

ill let you break my bones

so beautiful

so ethereal

the ride&stuff

touching your hands

be good to me

i think this means

together.

my only comfort zone; gone.

blood is just red body fluid

it doesn't mean a thing to me

it never meant a thing to me

& kinship is just a word.

but no, wait.

take her away

here's the water

take it

cold as ice

looking down

your sinful hands

running through her insides

she speaks softly to my ears

expressions & her dull eyes

he was

feeling me

merging every inch of desire

tickles in my soul

what more could i ask for

what more could she need

what more could she want

wash it away

wash it all away

the ice between his nails

and the water thats sliding down

his finger tips

slowly cleansing

but i did it all for your honor.

i dont remember

blurry

it was all hazy

smoke

hazy

i haven't felt so vulnerable

take it all away

pass me the phone

the bottle is done

my insides are intoxicated

your sharp canines

touching my lace

i cant do this anymore

i want you

i kept saying

i want you

everything was escalating

blowing the fuse

sensor things

sensor everything

this is all wrong

your eyes are too fragile

ill tell you

ill tell you how you crept through my spine

ill tell you about the grip

ill tell you about how i can hear your blood, run down my fingers.

the sounds of the bass

and the sound of you saying my name

my endless sighs

sensors

pitch black

i wake up, on your roof

it was cold in december

but

now i have you

&your body

&the candles

&the music

this is my trip

this is me and you

this is us.

cornered bruise

it was

ripping through my skin

slowly devouring my bones

& opening up every dry crease on my lips

you're digging in

its bleeding down

salt my wounds

& no one was there

& no one could hear

my screams

my raging screams

please stop the pain

lay me down in your

warm arms

& i'll whisper

please stop

whatever it takes

wrapped in lights

playing with stars

because maybe if i shine

you'll notice me