Friday, December 25, 2009

new doors, new rooms?

sometimes things just hit you, you realize. 
you realize somethings wrong, its either something big or something small, like from betrayal, to just a few words. 
its hard when you realize it, just randomly in the middle of the day, its really hard, its like a punch in the face, but unintentionally. 
you might realize that your soul mate was never your soul mate to begin with. 
or your friends that you call your best friends are not really friends, their just people that are there like they have no purpose their just people that sit with you at the lunch table or people that want to gossip. 
or maybe when you realize that your family aren't what you always thought they were. 
it hurts. 
that moment of realization, that moment when your punched. 
you try to change it but somethings are just to hard to replace like friends, its true yes i can isolate my self from them and just not be bothered to be "friends" with them anymore, but its not easy.
no one wants to be their own best friend, no one wants to sit alone and be labeled as loser, its just human nature. 
change your friends? yes. 
but its not as easy, because you've just come so far that its hard to change your friends, your routines cant easily changed. 
but when you meet someone that is willing to give you a chance open new doors that you thought never existed, how could someone turn down that opportunity. 
i did. 
i did. 
i was stupid and scared and careless & didn't know what to do so i just said no. 
& look at me now, lost & sick of my same routines the same black and white re-runs. 

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