Sunday, August 30, 2009

were so close

Gimme Sympathy - Metric 

to something better left 

listen and feel

what is it?

When you woke up this morning, what is the first thing on your mind? Just as you wake up, what is it you first think off?
Did you ask your self a question, about love, or hate, or heartbreak, or trust or hurt? 
Did you think of your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your mother, your father, your sister, your brother ?
Did you think of someone you've lost or someone you just got, physically, emotionally, and/or spiritually ?

 I wake up every morning, with this fever this mystery this sickness, longing for the closest thing to happiness.

sometimes you just have to realize it
you have to really realize, who to trust who to love. 
& choose wisely to your what your about to do. 
       Would you ever give up a friendship for a relationship 
or love for like? 
                would ever loose trust for doubt?

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Love can be so boring

listen and feel.


because lately all i've been doing is waiting. 
and waiting. 
and hoping. 
just waiting. 

just waiting. 

Wednesday, August 26, 2009


listen and feel 

" dont

spend time beating on a wall, hoping it would transform into a 
       d o o r "
-coco chanel 

Sunday, August 23, 2009

This Girl

" She can draw, she can paint. 
                                      likes to dance, she can skate.  
                                                                       now she dont make a sound."
-james morrison

dont give up girl.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Karl who? karl lagerfeld thats who.

" you cant say which people inspire you , because you always have to mix the expected with the unexpected. The trick is to keep your eyes open. "

Friday, August 21, 2009



todays tune.

Diamonds - Elle Skies

listen and feel.


Let your 
past haunt you. 

leave the past in the past. 
live in the present. 
because for some the future might never come 

play the lead. play the lead.

listen and feel. 

Thursday, August 20, 2009


Playing music is supposed to be fun. It's about heart, it's about feelings, moving people, and something beautiful, and it's not about notes on a page. I can teach you notes on a page, I can't teach you that other stuff


I don’t think everyone sees things the way i see them. 

Look a little deeper.
there’s more to it, i promise.

there's more. 
really there is. 

Monday, August 17, 2009

i miss you so much.

I believe in you. I really do. 
You beautiful dreamer. 

Im Giving up on you, because I'm scared. 
                     Not of you, but off these feelings your giving me. you make me feel whole. 

Thats what I'm scared off. Im Scared of finally feeling colors, finally not feeling 


there is one reason.


Sunday, August 16, 2009

if only she were

remember that night



I see things so much more clearly now.

It hurts… and then i see it even clearer.

let go.

feel what you need to feel.

just be yourself today.
go outside. & just feel. 
just let go & feel.

could he.

What if he can change? what if he can & what if this is what she needed to make that change.That one tiny little thing.
What if I lose the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and I didn’t have too?
What if he really did need to clear everything in his head. 
What if it took an ugly situation full of lies and deceit to see the best in what he had… 
Not everyone is perfect. Come to think off it no one is perfect. 
We all make mistakes. 
I mean right?
Wow. Its just my heart is too big. I’m fucked. I’m fucked. I’m fucked. someone please help me. I just don’t want to feel this pain anymore. 
God help me. 
this pain and hurt is killing me. 

i dont compare to the rest. 

& maybe possibly 
i still want you.

maybe possibly. 

im sorry.

" its never simple never easy, never a clean break. no one here to save me

just breathe.

even if it means you just lost something or someone special. 
just breathe 

Friday, August 14, 2009

just dance.

for no reason at all. 

dance e v e r y t h i n g 

dance. dance it all out. 


ive been up for quite a long time.
as i sit in this old crusty balcony that i know someday might break.
i could feel a small breeze hitting my face.
i start to see something beautiful.
something that i wish i had seen a long time ago.
the sunrise on the mountains
i could see the skies changing into different shades of blue and moving into an allure yellow and orange with a hint off pink and red.
and as the birds are slowly chirping.
i feel as if they are talking to the sky and welcoming a new day.
you might think that this is just another day and another sunrise on the same mountains and that every year or month or week or day I could set my alarm to about 5:26 just to watch the sunrise.
But what I see is a beautiful day coming.
A day that I should appreciate and not take for granted.
i feel the beauty of life today, right at this very moment.
it is breathing ..this amazing whiff of summer air.

i shall leave you guys to think about life, and how today, now is life.
its a journey not a destination my friends.
life is too short so take the time and appreciate.

i will go back to what seems like the most perfect moment in my life by far.
my head is cleared.
and this is breathtaking.

and now it is time for me to rest.
go outside today and feel the beauty of life.

bye bye.

i hate the way i feel when i think about you.
i hate the way i feel when i look at your picture.
i hate the way i get when i get close to you.
i still dont understand where we went wrong?
but right now i have to learn to let go.

i dont care who you are, i dont care what you do.
im done with anything related to you.
whatever we were. were not anymore.
im slamming and locking up this stupid door. im done with you.
thank god your done with me.

along the way we used to be the best of friends.
but you were always like a code i can never crack.
i cant stand that.
just make it clear to me.
do you want me as much as i need you?
or do you need me as much as i want you?
but i dont want to hear you, cause i know your not sorry for what you did.

im closing and locking up this twisted door.
im done with you thank god your done with me.

ive been waiting for more than a year.
and i dont appreciate what your doing.
so go get fucked up and see if i care.
cause i dont care who you are i dont care what you do
im done with anything related to you

ive made it final you can forget my name and forget what we once were.
im done with you and your done with me.

Thursday, August 13, 2009


Matt Hires - A Perfect Day

listen and feel.

for you.

Its true heartbreak. Makes you feel like shit.
But behind every heartbreak you have memories.
Some that are just too painful to look back on.
But there are the other ones that made you fall for that person in the first place.
The ones that make you smile :)
Yes! Sometimes " running from reality " and stopping at a land where this place is filled with dreams and wishes, the ones that you were imagining before going to sleep.
Or daydreaming about them in math class.
& you think that, that stop will make you forget everything.
but then you leave that destination & sometimes when you look back at those happy memories you cry. because you're hurting, and you're wondering where did we go wrong? or
Why didn't I tell you the truth? Why was I so scared of the answer?
& then you start reminiscing through the " small details that you once loved " like the way he liked the color blue?
Just remember that a memory is a memory, good or bad.
& if you would like it to fade, you outnumber it with the good ones.
but the secret is they will always be with you.
You can learn from the bad ones and learn from the good ones.
Without pain you cant appreciate happiness.

But the one thing I have to say to you is that :
Your still young my lovely, don't let your feelings get the best of you. You love him, and I know that because when you really love someone all you want for them is to be happy, even if it means that you are not part of it


So much has changed in what seems like such little time.

I loved someone a lot, or atleast i thought i did and one day I woke up and I realized what moving on really is.

There's such a big difference between getting over something and getting through it. I got through with it all, but if one day he came up to me and told me that he sincerely loved me just the way i loved him, I wouldn't resist that. no i wouldn't. not what you were expecting to read. It's funny how things work out right? One day you think you'll be best friends with someone forever and one day you're just not anymore. All I know for sure is that when you love someone, I mean truly love someone, whether it's a friend or boyfriend or girlfriend wtv, you never stop loving them.

Think about it.

I've moved on, yes.

But a part of me will always belong to him, I will always have that part of me that loves him. & someday ill look back at those days. & remember that he once made me smile.

your lips were here. your lips were here. our lips were here. your lips were here.

your lips wont be here anymore.

there's nothing worse than a bird with wings who cant fly.

open your eyes
& look p a s t
all the flaws

im done thinking of you.

have you ever got to a point where you write
his name over and over and over again in your notebook?
or secretly carve your first letter and his first letter on a wooden table or a tree? Hoping you'll finally be together? or Hoping one day you'd be together and say i carved our letters together ?
or when you just came out of a nice hot bath and the mirrors all condensed steam, do you slowly wipe your fingers by writing you name with his?
or maybe when you have a thousand other guys in front of you & all you can wonder is what he's doing right now?
or have you ever been in one of the most beautiful places with the most beautiful people but there's only one thing in your mind him?
but then you see that you can never be together because as much as you wanted this to work as much as you thought you knew who he was, he's not the guy you've been dreaming about day and night. he's just not the person you thought you were "inlove" with
& you realize that some things are just never meant to be 
no matter how hard we wish they were.

ok so heres the thing:
there's always a story behind everything 
like how a scar got on your arm or leg or face. 
or how a picture got on your wall 
or maybe why you drew that picture in your sketch book 

sometimes the story might be simple and sometimes 
it might have been heartbreaking. 
in the end its a story that has an ending. 

I just think I need a break from all this &
start something new with my life.
I feel like I'm holding onto something when I shouldn't be.

but somehow i still feel like im going backwards and forwards at the same time.
& there's just something i need to say. 

something so simple, that i just don't know what it is. 

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

somethings we dont talk about. 
rather do without. 

- the fray


I keep on laughing to keep from c r y i n g
I keep on
dreaming to keep from dieing.  

When you go to sleep tonight, who will you pray for? for your family who is always there to support and love you or for your friends who say there gonna be there then leave or lie or did you pray for forgiveness from a sin that is impossible to be forgiven?.  Who will you stay up until 11:11 for? The guy your in love with or who you think your "involve" with, or your best friend who isn't talking to you? 

Did you wish for someone to love you? Did you wish for someone to hold you? Did you wish for him or her? Have you been hurt, so deeply heartbroken that nothing or no one will ever make you as happy as you used to be?

 It hurts, doesn't it.

The feeling, knowing something or someone is so perfect for you, but you realize that it's imagination that's got you this far that it was just a useless dream that you know might never come true!. 

Nothing more than useless wishes on 4 matching numbers. 4 matching numbers that are just for fucking numbers?

just wishing for something that is guaranteed not to come true. & having people tell you " its gonna be okay" when you know its not okay, because you want to relive that moment-when you smiled and closed your eyes and thought its real. 

Nothing more than a knot in your stomach that has yet to get loosen.. 

(i read something like this a while ago and i made it my own) 


the people around you.

c o l o r

so since my blog is called road to color, i should share something with you guys. 
i see everything in black and white
yeah im not so positive :/
but color motivates me to do so much, it motivates me to
its like a visual embrace. 
im craaazy about it.

color is such a personal thing that it cant be questioned.
what color means to me is not the same as what color means to you. 
"color is a personal intimate experience"

everyone has there special little color. 
whats yours? 


so today i realized that james morrison 
is one powerful man.. 
i just love his music, his voice and everything about him.. 
today i read all his lyrics, yes every single one of them! 
and then i locked myself in my room and 
i just listened 
i cried 
and i smiled. 

today i was inspired. 

did you get inspired by anything today?

summer beach

lets make a splash. 

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


i feel like my heart is somewhere else 
and my body is here. 
my heart is back home.
i wanna go back home 
h o m e

Flip the page, baby its a new chapter

summer slowly came by and left..
my summer wasnt the summer where i hang out with friends, go to partys and get drunk, or fun nights and days at the beach and no summer love.
no that wasnt what my summer was about.
my summer was about 
- relaxing
- getting to know me
& spending time with my family. 

as much as that sounds ideal to some. 
i want it to end now.