Tuesday, December 28, 2010

is there any hope left in me?

but you did

im calling

can anybody see me?
can anybody hear me?

what if i don't exist?

i wish i didn't care
i wish i wasn't lost
i wish it didn't matter
i wish i could sleep at night without you on my mind
i wish i could just enjoy life
i wish you were here
i wish i was there
i wish i meant it
i wish you meant it
i wish you missed me
i wish i lived somewhere else
i wish i was different
i wish i was pretty
i wish i was loving
i wish i was talented
i wish i could sing better
i wish i could write music
i wish i wasn't invisible
i wish i wish i wish

Saturday, December 25, 2010

have a wonderful day

merry christmas to those who celebrate it.

whats happening

you're in & out of my mind
train wreck (me)

this cant be right
i cant be right

i just want to

shut the world out

Tuesday, December 21, 2010


get up
so high
im up
feeling alive
i can touch the sky
and kiss the stars

tick tock

the thought of being hurt
by the same thing
all over again
im not afraid of trying it again
but i dont want to get hurt
i dont want to get hurt
in recovery
in confusion
in the allusion
in constellations


Monday, December 20, 2010

where'd you go?

most of us are mislead
and uninformed about whats happening or whats going to happen
put in the sense that we are all
like alice
alice in wonderland
skinny loves and thoughts
skinny ankles and wrists
with 100 stories to tell
but no where to go
you make your self to be the person you accept
but we still manage to never figure out
who we are
like a fractured bone not broken
a twisted painting but perfectly painted
a paper cut that cuts deep but manages to stay sweet

so imperfect
so demented
so sore
yet so clean

just hang

you interlope in all aspects of every corner of my thoughts and mind
every inch of my soul
in constant motion
i over think
the simple things
you're so sweet
but you complex me
and my thoughts and my already tangled mind
i hang from you
like a loose thin thread
one in which you do not see
and somehow that completes me

Thursday, December 16, 2010

tomorrows a new day

wait for the skies to change
and breathe it in

Wednesday, December 15, 2010



i think i can make it without you
i think i can

it was in you

"& when i meet you, it felt like everything fell into place. it was a challenge, it was a ride, it was hard, but i found you
& i found my self to"


age is just a number

you're wise
beyond your years

but i dont care
i dont care
i dont care


that soul
the one that i have spend
all my time searching for

that non-existing soul

a fairytale

in my head
every story starts with a
Once Upon A Time

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Friday, December 10, 2010

it all happened so fast

& when i lost you
i didn't really know i would lose myself to


Be Somebody - KOL

because it reminds me of the rush
and the ride to no where


& when she sings and when she talks
its as if
i can hear her whisper them to my soul

my bones shiver
they s h i v e r
she doesn't have a clue
so i'll just sing her a song or maybe two


i want to i n s p i r e people

Thursday, December 9, 2010

my soul turns purple when i am with you

dark lies

i dont know what im doing or who im going to be
but i know that i want to be anywhere but here
and i know i dont want to be this.

take me to a place where everything is light & everyday the skies are different
get me out of here
so i can show the right people the side of me no one here sees

dare me

baby girl

you're way to young
to feel & be
this e m p t y

(thats all he said)

mama once told me to:

feels so wrong

Thursday, November 25, 2010

you are

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

i am in a different world (inmydreams)

in my dreams i feel alive
i feel the color running through my veins
i fell in love
i fell apart
i held your hand and touched your lips
i sang along to every tune
i painted pictures of something i never knew
in my dreams
its all in my dreams

in my head

& how can i remember
the memories that never happened
reality is a buzz kill
what if?

deep down

one of those days where
i look in the mirror and all i want to do it break the glass
and never look in the mirror ever again
why cant mirrors only show whats on the inside?

take a step

i need change
in every form of way
in a simple manner
i just need it
i need change.
we all have flaws
accept it

Sunday, November 21, 2010


everything will be fine
& everything will be okay

heart breaking

even the winter breeze cant satisfy me

its time

you were loved
and you will be missed


you kneel down on your knees
this is your last goodbye
this is the last kiss

all black

& when its cut it feels deep
& when its broken it might seem shattered
& when its stabbed its stays there
it feels pain
she feels pain
he feels pain
a room filled with pain

Saturday, November 13, 2010

from jules

sending love to the uk

i wish

& all my life
my hands will search for yours


oh how i love the feeling
of sweet nothing
just nothing

spill open

thin thin walls
theyre thinner than you think
the word is gonna get out
its gonna get out

somewhere far away

with white petals
and weightless feathers
we live in this beautiful world
yes we do
just me and you
f l o a t i n g

finding herself

this is my story

Friday, November 5, 2010

they really do

hang in there
somewhere along the way
things DO get better
sometimes i love you is just not enough

dont h8

people find it so hard to love
they force themselves to find something
to hate
they force them selves to find a way to bring you down
they love to see you hurt
the love to see you break
they love to see you burn
one day theyre gonna drown in their own flames

that bad

just break down
& cry

wont heal

my heart hurts
it feels broken
it feels bruised
it feels pain


i just dont want to feel pain anymore
i just want to feel alive
i really do

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

its cold outside baby

please stay

the sweet smell of november
everything beautiful reminds me of you

Friday, October 29, 2010


but all she will ever do is
push push push push me away


i cant

what more can i do
what more can i say
i cant just walk away

i mean it

i would die for you
thats exactly how much you mean to me..

you changed my life

& everyday before i go to bed
i thank you
and you
and you
i'm grateful

i love you all

yes it's a great gift

some people just

once upon a time

it felt like
she was saying the saddest story ever
looking right into her eyes
was like the saddest love story

Saturday, October 23, 2010

oh the sweet taste of new york


he was my escape and sometimes that can feel an awful lot like love.


everyone can dream
everyone needs dreams
youre never 2 old
and never 2 young

i just want to be your friend

& i'll sing my heart out
& i'll cry my heart out
i'll write you a song

& if i draw a tear will that make things clear?
then you can see whats really hurting me?
you're my only song
my master symphony
you're the only one worth crying for
i'll help you
i'll hold you
i'll want you
i'll give you love
i need your love


a small part of you will always
be with me.
heartaches and heart breaks
ships sink and eyes blink
50 bullets she misses
for a thousand sweet kisses

Saturday, October 16, 2010

like a feather
id like to float away

Friday, October 15, 2010

& im giving up on you
like you gave up on me

some kind of love.


i miss looking into your eyes
that feeling my heart gets when i look at them
i miss that feeling
i miss those eyes.

let me haunt you

in your dreams where you go
let me be your ghost
ill be there to keep you safe
and scare away everything
that needs to be replaced


along with a tired self
along with being always lost
along with everything
along with my tired tired soul

i feel totally in control
and i dont know where to go..

that feeling

its like my mind is floating in some other galaxy
taking a trip along and in between the stars
im here physically but
my mind, body &soul are not
and it feels like
i'm in peace, just hovering
sweetly released

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

her silent cry for help

listen to her

its one big canvas

life = art

(paint freely)

you can always trust me

open up to someone about something
or write it down
& set it free

dont fool yourself

all your pluses add up
to nothing.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

thats alot of people

look closer
d e e p
theres good in everyone

Sunday, September 19, 2010


& its sad to say
i watched you change with the seasons

tag you're it

every rose has its thorns

tonight all i want to do is;
get lost in white petals

music for your soul to dance 2

Sia - Never Gonna Leave Me

you touched my heart and then gave me yours
dont make me wait
just because you know i will


i know we wont ever
say hello again
and it kills me
it k i l l s me everyday..

Thursday, September 9, 2010

i like books

i still like to think that i live my life through someone else's story
i am always afraid to write my own
i pretend that i am happy everyday & sometimes it works
i even fool myself

morning light

own it

wake up
its a new day


i cant stop thinking about him
he cant stop thinking about her

give me a break

so tired of thinking about him
& so tired of thinking about her

long days

midnight coffee

end of one thing

everythings changing
things are coming and going
is precious
& regretting
moving on & letting go
all apart of growing up

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

a gift 4you

little boxes tied with ribbons
lets fly away

like a tattoo

something you cant remove

theres alway something permanent in our lives
a l w a ys

say goodbye say hello

get ready for a rocky end
& a beautiful beginning

Friday, September 3, 2010

dont forget

youre beautiful

always remember

out there loves you

like magic

i dont bite

well okay maybe sometimes


dont stereotype
its time to move on

here i come paris

put aside everything

i know what i want to be& what i want to do
this is what im going to focus my everything 4
this is who i want to be
this is me trying to find me

Sunday, August 29, 2010

brush it off&enjoy

i dont think ill every be good enough 
& that scares me 

they fill your head

youre thoughts get lost in all the chaos
but they always find their way back

ill always come back
& you'll always creep back
its a cycle


its always the little things that i miss the most. 

youre better than them

dont let anyone bring you down 
smile & walk away 

try it.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

we're getting closer

i just need closure 

here you go

i can do whatever i want

late at night 

it h i t s me 
this is my life. 

i can be whoever i want to be 
no one can control me but me

tick tock

i'll wait for you to come around 
because i know if you were me 
you'd wait 2

dont be afraid

its always worth asking 
someone to stay 
you never know the answer 
might be y e s.

just white

& then one day 
you'll find yourself in this room 
with this state of mind 
you'll feel free 
but you'll be trapped 

& you realize 
you're lost in white petals 
white rose petals 
and you sink in.. 
& you embrace this state of mind. 
& you'll never want it to fade away

Sunday, August 15, 2010

im hiding 
come find me

zzz there's my splash

bold bright light

we wont fade 
we both know it 
just like the stars 
we're both here 
to stay 

without you its dead

your like the smoke to my cigarette 

be careful

dont care so much for one person 
you'll forget about yourself 

love vs obsession 
call me miss dont care. 


& its a splash 
a beautiful splash of color 
like a rainbow 
wonderful color s p l a s h 

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Friday, August 6, 2010

im just an ordinary girl 

not a waste of time

didnt know where i was 

i found my way 
and im on the perfect path 
a new light 
call me luxe 

where are you going with this?

missing everything 
but loving my new everything 
i am miss nothing 
wanting everything 

hold onto to something 
letting go of one thing

Saturday, July 31, 2010

sunset snacks

from the distance

my break
my escape 
my adventure 
somewhere to take my mind off everything.

my place& space

its been a while 
i've been missing 
& sinking in the beautiful blend 

around you

& everything in me came back to life. 
just for a second..

Sunday, July 18, 2010

please remember me.

wake up & clear your mind.

i've never felt so drained 
& then in the aftermath 
i've never felt so alive. 

long nights

those clouded eyes 
make them rain

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

meet summer

tmrw mornin

i want you tangled in my s h e e t s 


time to realize

if you just stop
& look around you. 
you will see that 
this life all around you. 
is amazing
is beautiful 
is wonderful 

loud lights long nights

"hold me dont let me fall"

"dont let me fall"

breathe in, hang tight, hold my hand. 
i wont let you fall 
i promise i wont let you fall 

like lucy.

you remind of the girl 
with kaleidoscope eyes 

everything else is old.

new town
new vibe
new atmosphere
new people
new color
new glitter
new keys
new doors
new weather
new car
new house
new clothes

new me

where ?

nothing left to say
& nothing in my way.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010


(i had opportunities 4 eternity&i could belong to the night)

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

perfect sun - breathe it in

thanx 4the phone call

dont worry
all this isnt real.

what you feel
can never be real.

far away at the break of day

not yours 
and not mine 


this is our escape. 


nothing really matters 

& no one really wins.


in this room 
this place 
that garden 

yes this is where i meet you. 
now all i want to do is 
forget you. 

cotton candy sweet

her voice
& melancholy

a perfect ring to it
a voice that fills you with hope.

dont mind if you show it

left there 
cold and broken 
a beauty 
a fairy-tale princess 
don't cry 
he should've known you were shy 

don't worry 
shattered like a perfect piece of glass 
sharp edges 
but easily fixed 
why'd you leave her there 
Beautifully broken?

Sunday, June 13, 2010

once you turn black theres no going back

2show you i care

even when we part 
she will always have 
a place in my heart. 
no matter what. 

i wish i could call you & tell you i care 
but will you listen?
will you just stand there?
(i dont think you'll listen. i wish you did)

but optimism is powerful

all black phase 

yes i feel that way 
i have gotten to the point. 


i said i'm sorry
& i said i'll try

im sure that

this loneliness is 
you do something to me that i cant explain 
so would i be completely out of line to say: 
"i miss you" 


  • im pushing you away because i cant let you stay. 

Friday, June 11, 2010


dont worry you'll be okay

hopeless dreamer 

hold on
be strong 


hello hello 
miss me?
i miss you

i think about you all the time. 

only with you

i try to make myself so vague 
but with you 
im as clear as 
shiny glass.


i know you're here 
i wake up 
& i know i can feel you 
like i did once before when you were around. 

i can feel your presence 
i really can 

Thursday, June 10, 2010

i wish i wish i wish

you are here.

late night phone calls 

so wheres my medication ?

its unhealthy exactly how much i think of you.

something about you

the way you make me feel 
is so unreal 

its something that is not meant to be hidden 
the way you make me feel 

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

i'm convinced

i'll never be her 
& i'll never be like her 

maybe thats why you gave up on me. 
because all your life your going to look for someone 
exactly like her. 
& you thought that girl was me. 

but i am me. 
i am not her. 
im sorry to let you down. 

Saturday, June 5, 2010

away a w a y

nothing left 2 say 
i blew you away 

your just another sparkle 
another pretty little grain.

i need 2find one.

will you be my muse?
ive been looking for one. 
& i found you. 

be my muse 
i'd like a muse


a rush of something. 
a rush of something powerful 
its a rush 
i feel it creeping up my veins 

one by one.

we all relate to one another 
& we all intertwine with eachother. 

we all come together. 

suited up.

your curls 
    & your voice 


dont assume things 

ask be4 you do. 

Thursday, June 3, 2010

smile, its gonna be a good day

i wont change.

like it or leave it 

i dont care 
this is who i am. 

lesson learned

take control of your own life
sometimes peoples advice
is not what you need
and not the right way to the paths you want to take
take the advice that feels right
& dont listen to one person
if somethings wrong
if what your getting is not what you like
then change what youre doing
& find someone
who will like you
for who you are.


brush it off & smile

todays a new day 
yesterdays the past 
smile & carry on 
remember to be like the stars 
& to always shine. 

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

look it up

to be in need or want:

leave it out.

i was on the edge 

but i think i'm 
breaking down 


i need you here with me 
i really need you 
i need you 
call me. 

hey can you

just leave me alone 
with my thoughts 

stressful nights

a good cry 
will always help 

a good cry. 

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

your stardust is all i have left of you

no one's behind me.

help me 
i'm lost 
help me
come look for me 
im lost 

i run cause deep down inside 
i want to be chased 

come look 4 me. 
come follow me

i am i n v i s i b l e

if i cant be beautiful 
i'd like to feel invisible 

i feel invisible 

up in the sky

i look up at the sky 
the sky thats filled with diamonds 
i wonder 
are you somewhere out there 
looking at the same sparkles 

the full moon fools me & whispers to me 
"he is thinking of you 2darling i can see him, i can read him"

tell her what she wants to hear

tell her she's worth it 

she deserves it 
because she is 


there's this piece of you thats always
with me
its with me
its around me
its in everywhere i go
& everything i see.

new perspectives? new friends?

it would be nice to meet new people
i need a good change
i need good vibes

Friday, May 28, 2010


"never say goodbye because saying goodbye means going away & going away means forgetting"
-peter pan 

Thursday, May 27, 2010

sand kissed farewell

& tonight she's taking chances, she's gonna take a chance 

making memories out of what she has left.

embracing the last piece of presence she will ever have of 


she will not forget today

she will not forget 

one perfect memory 

of her last day with him

she will not forget

i guarantee 

she will not forget 

because she has to leave it all behind 

she has to leave all of this behind 

one last day with the full moon 

reflecting on the beach 

she will never forget this&him.

shes leaving on a monday.

suddenly between 
and lashes 
i am reminded of why i dont do this:
i fall too quickly 
i dont want you to forget me 

when you leave 
when your gone 
will you write?
or will you call? 
i need a rainy day 


I don’t know what I should like to say: I love you. You are beautiful. Never leave me. 
It seems I hear all of this and yet he says only one word,
my name
or something 
or his laughter 
i only hear one thing
and I realize I have never heard him say it this way before;

because that way feels like a way in which 
he has always been saying. 
& i stop and i understand 
it was never & never will be 
goodbye is enough 

the last thing was 
“Goodbye,” I whispered at last, when it no longer matters, and there is no one to hear it 
but the window.


i wish i could tell you 
i wish i could tell you
i wish i could tell you 
i wish i could tell you

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

spin around & loose control of your buttons

pick up

pass me the phone 
its time for a conversation 
I am a metaphor 


without you i feel:
& incredibly lonely 

with you i feel:
i feel alive 
but still incredibly lonely 

it doesnt make any sense 

i will cherish you

you're the best thing i never knew i needed 

because everything seems right

my only relief is to sleep. when i’m sleeping, i’m not sad, i’m not angry, i’m not lonely, i’m nothing.

soft music for your heart&soul

Dream - Priscilla Ahn 

the s t a r s smiled down on me
god answered in silent reverie. 
i said a prayer and fell asleep. 

Tuesday, May 25, 2010


whatever i want it to be.

love can be whatever i want it to be
no one can tell me 
what love feels like and how and when to love
love is whatever i think it is 
and what i want it to be 
not what you tell me it is supposed to be.
my feelings 
not yours 
i love 
you dont. 


You amaze me 
you inspire me 
you make me 
you can break me 
you move me 

you love me 
& i do 2

im here, always.

my world revolves around your soul. 
plastic spoons 
lets collect spoons. 


i swear baby

im ready. 


the simple things get the best of me.

talk is cheap

their words mean
n o t h i n g

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

it feels up the empty spaces inside

if that is what a dream is supposed to do 
then i dream of being with you 

(& they make you feel whole)

Monday, May 17, 2010

Accro à tes sens, je frise l’effervescence

hooked on your senses, im on the verge of turmoil

hi im a


lets be wallflower friends?

Thursday, May 13, 2010

i feel as if

i dont mean anything to anyone anymore. 

whatever this is

Wednesday, May 12, 2010



its always better

to keep to yourself

(people are people)

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

oh my

his smile
his laugh
his smile

he makes my heart flutter
and his smile makes my day

("everytime you smile i smile")


just thoughts

just a txt away

we found a way to communicate
dont let that go
to loose the way


don't leave when i push you away, that's when i need you the most.

whats going on?

this cant be happening
i cant keep on like this

i promise 
i didnt do anything wrong.. 

Sunday, May 9, 2010

very very

new tunes 4your soul.

so let go , yeah let go. 
just get in 
oh its amazing here 
it's alright 
cause there's beauty in the breakd o  w n 

bend & break

it was all a big mistake 

Saturday, May 8, 2010

i need to feel you.

&your breeze


she always falls inlove way 2 fast, maybe because she has so much love to give?


i love you. 
today you are loved. 

when you read this, know that there is one person who loves you. 
smile :) 


dont underestimate her 
shes not me.. 

Thursday, May 6, 2010


the red light, turns green after a while 
& your off

takecare, miss me 
cause i know ill miss you

it hit me hard

i so didnt see this coming. 

ill miss you.
just stay please stay. 

you were right

people always leave. 

Saturday, May 1, 2010

thank you god.

my 11:11 wish last night 
was grey skies 
& a conversation with you. 

grey skies check
rain check 
you check 

hold on 2 wtv you have left.

we all wait for something 

everyone waits 

everything will be alright

talk to me.. 
i told you before and ill tell you now 

im your person. 

Friday, April 30, 2010


paper hearts dont always land
 where you want them 2. 

may was never my month

oh well 

Hello May 

lets hope you come by faster than april. 
april was long. 
april wasn't my month. 

bassically april sucked. 


you fell for the wrong guy. 
he screwed you over. 
and youre still falling for him 

just let it go 
let him go 
cause all he's gonna do is

hurt you
over and over and over 

Monday, April 26, 2010

waiting 4you

let me do it on my own.

who i am 
is for me to figure out on my own. 

all alone. 

but along the roads
ill meet people 
exchange vibes. 



im doing so good in pretending to be fine 
and pretending to be okay 
like everythings going along well 

that im actually believing myself. 

i need time

everything is not okay 
everything is just getting way too exhausting 

learning things that i am not one bit interested about 
loving someone is exhausting 

l i f e is exhausting 

& thinking or actually losing someone?
thats the most exhausting thing. 
perfection is your flaw. 
what you potentially did not do to me. 

hurt me more. 

wont last 4ever.

why all these secrets 
we dont need them 

i dont need them 
my secrets 
my secretkeeper

im done with secrets & im done with you darling.