Friday, April 30, 2010


paper hearts dont always land
 where you want them 2. 

may was never my month

oh well 

Hello May 

lets hope you come by faster than april. 
april was long. 
april wasn't my month. 

bassically april sucked. 


you fell for the wrong guy. 
he screwed you over. 
and youre still falling for him 

just let it go 
let him go 
cause all he's gonna do is

hurt you
over and over and over 

Monday, April 26, 2010

waiting 4you

let me do it on my own.

who i am 
is for me to figure out on my own. 

all alone. 

but along the roads
ill meet people 
exchange vibes. 



im doing so good in pretending to be fine 
and pretending to be okay 
like everythings going along well 

that im actually believing myself. 

i need time

everything is not okay 
everything is just getting way too exhausting 

learning things that i am not one bit interested about 
loving someone is exhausting 

l i f e is exhausting 

& thinking or actually losing someone?
thats the most exhausting thing. 
perfection is your flaw. 
what you potentially did not do to me. 

hurt me more. 

wont last 4ever.

why all these secrets 
we dont need them 

i dont need them 
my secrets 
my secretkeeper

im done with secrets & im done with you darling. 

Sunday, April 18, 2010

take a walk down venice beach

melodies & harmonies.

fucking boyfriend - the bird & the bee

i would be so winning so absolutely winning 
a guarantee m e l o d y a promise in the sky

Saturday, April 17, 2010

somwhere safe.

im not at home

im in just in the house i live in.
i want a home.

& all im asking for is the love for your daughter


drowning in my own tears.

im human you know?

i hate it when you just stand there
and you watch him hurt me
you watch
him and all you do
is smile.

thats not right
im hurting.
you cant just stand there
you just cant
fuck this shit.

oh lord.

dont k i ll

Friday, April 16, 2010




long list.

So much to do 
too many things to think about it. 

dont complicate matters - just yet. 


think this over again.
dont move to fast.

silly girl
please dont confuse love with lust 
thank you. 


ive never seen you in such a different light
we were two people that exchanged hellos and goodbyes
down the hall
by the lockers
in class
on the streets
at the copy room
and in the work space
so many different rooms&places

it just h i t me
like a fast push through my heart

i knew it wasnt sudden
it grew.
feelings grow, you know?
but i couldnt believe that this feeling could grow
into this

internal thoughts;
i love him
as a friend
no more.
my heart is getting the best of me
am i in over my head?
he is just a friend..
my heart and mind are showing me that he is more.

i feel more i swear
i know this is it
i know he is it
for me
maybe not someone to spend my life with.
but someones who fufils my needs now.

but as i get closer to him i feel him falling for me.
her name slips gently out of his mouth
& he is calling me?
could it be
mixing me up with his current love?
we need to do this properly

(better left u n said)

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

let loose, be weightless, get styrofoam.

who's that girl?

where'd she come from?
who is she?
whats her name?
she cant be the one. 
no thats not her. 

who is she
stealing my world. 
who's that girl?

whats her name?
why is she here?
she better leave. 

she cant be. 

(its myday its mynight)

Monday, April 12, 2010

to comfort you

ill tell you everything that you want to hear.. 

Sunday, April 11, 2010

how deep is your love

loving hearts stolen keys perfect shades blacks whites & greys the perfect tints for the perfect moments. color is superficial in this land.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

the sisters i learned to love

i love him

he loves her 

tell me why

why do you miss me?

because im surrounded by things that remind me of you 
i wear you around my neck 
your color is everywhere 
and mostly because youre not here. 

new twist, new tunes.

sia - butterflies 

we've shared joy & we've shared pain
the butterflies are still t h e r e 

darling :

if you believe what the weather man says, you believe anything 

i mean the weather is so unpredicted, seriously why do you think they have wheels on barbeques? 
she was good to me 
good for me 

but i wasn't good enough for her
(good is never good enough) 

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

promise to

you say that i am

crazy cause i feel? 
no, I'm just crazy cause I'm real. 

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

not so grey and dry

i look outside & the skies are blue 
how can i not think of you. 

Sunday, April 4, 2010

good morning, i thought of you.


i'd like to love & be loved. 

& thats why i love you.

for a small moment i felt high on the stardust & magic that diffuses from his eyes and from his blissful soul. 
then just like that i was snapped back to what is reality.
then i remembered that the reality that is sitting right in front of me is my euphoric state of mind .
& that this reality 
is the perfect combination 
of what i called " junction & perfection"
& that all this is not a dream
this is a reality 
i feel him. 
i always thought that i was a prisoner to everyones eyes, a prisoner of all sorts. 
especially a prisoner of colors 
a prisoner in which everyone could tell me what to do
& because of my fragile self 
i would do as they please 
and take what they give me 
& lock it up inside. 

but then i remembered him
and how he was right in front of me 
and i felt 
on this night where the sky was as liquidly as ever 
and the stars shined like no other. 
i fell into the beauty of everything i saw, the sky and how is seems as though 
god spilled blue ink all over & the stars shined and sparkled 
like they never have before. 
i felt indifferent & cold by the smoke thats coming out of his cigarette 
and i felt his beauty sink in between my bones. 
& then i became aware of the fact that this moment right here 
i have a friend. 
finally i don't feel alone with someone 
i feel whole with that one person
makes everything seem perfect. 
i will no longer wonder those useful thoughts. 
i will try making alone not seem lonely anymore 
because i can say to myself that i have my own haze of blue 
and that color is around me 
day & night 
my own tint of blue. 

Saturday, April 3, 2010

craving soul food

feed my soul 
feed it with music.