you can have it.

dont you hate it when you hear something you don't want to hear?

but you have to hear it, because you need to know. 

because you have to know. 

& when you hear it, you wished you'd never heard it, but you had to hear it. 

when i heard it. 

i lost it inside, i tried to hold it back while she was there but when she left i fell & broke down into tears. 

it must be something big, if thats what your thinking.  

But its not something big at all. 

to you maybe. 

but to me it was my pride, my happiness. something that i called my own, something that i was proud of having & in the end i knew that it wasn't just mine, it was hers too. 

& you know she doesn't deserve it, she doesn't know how to handle it. 

it hurts more, because i know how to and i know what to do. 

but that person is just not going too, that person is going to act, and put on a show. 

that one thing, was mine. 

i was real. 

that thing was my friend. 

[selfish thoughts]