remember

paper hearts dont always land

 where you want them 2. 

may was never my month

oh well 

Hello May 

lets hope you come by faster than april. 

april was long. 

april wasn't my month. 

bassically april sucked. 

over

you fell for the wrong guy. 

he screwed you over. 

and youre still falling for him 

just let it go 

let him go 

cause all he's gonna do is

hurt you

over and over and over 

again. 

waiting 4you

let me do it on my own.

who i am 

is for me to figure out on my own. 

all alone. 

solo 

but along the roads

ill meet people 

exchange vibes. 

places&faces&spaces. 

stupid.

im doing so good in pretending to be fine 

and pretending to be okay 

like everythings going along well 

that im actually believing myself. 

i need time

everything is not okay 

everything is just getting way too exhausting 

learning things that i am not one bit interested about 

loving someone is exhausting 

l i f e is exhausting 

& thinking or actually losing someone?

thats the most exhausting thing. 

perfection is your flaw. 

what you potentially did not do to me. 

hurt me more. 

wont last 4ever.

why all these secrets 

we dont need them 

i dont need them 

my secrets 

my secretkeeper

im done with secrets & im done with you darling. 

take a walk down venice beach

melodies & harmonies.

fucking boyfriend - the bird & the bee

i would be so winning so absolutely winning 

a guarantee m e l o d y a promise in the sky

somwhere safe.

im not at home

im in just in the house i live in.
i want a home.

& all im asking for is the love for your daughter

salty

drowning in my own tears.

im human you know?

i hate it when you just stand there
and you watch him hurt me
you watch
him and all you do
is smile.

thats not right
im hurting.
you cant just stand there
you just cant

fuck this shit.

oh lord.

dont k i ll

yourself

shit

I MISS YOU SO FUCKING MUCH 

imissyouleximissyouimissyouimissyou

cleansing

long list.

So much to do 

too many things to think about it. 

dont complicate matters - just yet. 

wait

think this over again.

dont move to fast.

silly girl

please dont confuse love with lust 

thank you. 

hi

ive never seen you in such a different light

we were two people that exchanged hellos and goodbyes

down the hall

by the lockers

in class

on the streets

at the copy room

and in the work space

so many different rooms&places

it just h i t me

suddenly

like a fast push through my heart

i knew it wasnt sudden

it grew.

feelings grow, you know?

but i couldnt believe that this feeling could grow

into this

internal thoughts;

i love him

as a friend

no more.

my heart is getting the best of me

am i in over my head?

no.

he is just a friend..

no

my heart and mind are showing me that he is more.

i feel more i swear

i know this is it

i know he is it

for me

maybe not someone to spend my life with.

but someones who fufils my needs now.

but as i get closer to him i feel him falling for me.

her name slips gently out of his mouth

& he is calling me?

could it be

mixing me up with his current love?

we need to do this properly

(better left u n said)

let loose, be weightless, get styrofoam.

who's that girl?

where'd she come from?

who is she?

whats her name?

she cant be the one. 

no thats not her. 

who is she

stealing my world. 

who's that girl?

whats her name?

why is she here?

she better leave. 

she cant be. 

(its myday its mynight)

to comfort you

ill tell you everything that you want to hear.. 

how deep is your love

loving hearts stolen keys perfect shades blacks whites & greys the perfect tints for the perfect moments. color is superficial in this land.

the sisters i learned to love

i love him

he loves her 

tell me why

why do you miss me?

because im surrounded by things that remind me of you 

i wear you around my neck 

your color is everywhere 

and mostly because youre not here. 

new twist, new tunes.

sia - butterflies 

we've shared joy & we've shared pain

the butterflies are still t h e r e 

darling :

if you believe what the weather man says, you believe anything 

i mean the weather is so unpredicted, seriously why do you think they have wheels on barbeques? 

she was good to me 

good for me 

but i wasn't good enough for her

(good is never good enough) 

promise to

you say that i am

crazy cause i feel? 

no, I'm just crazy cause I'm real. 

not so grey and dry

i look outside & the skies are blue 

how can i not think of you. 

good morning, i thought of you.

someday.

i'd like to love & be loved. 

& thats why i love you.

for a small moment i felt high on the stardust & magic that diffuses from his eyes and from his blissful soul. 

then just like that i was snapped back to what is reality.

&

then i remembered that the reality that is sitting right in front of me is my euphoric state of mind .

& that this reality 

is the perfect combination 

of what i called " junction & perfection"

& that all this is not a dream

this is a reality 

i feel him. 

i always thought that i was a prisoner to everyones eyes, a prisoner of all sorts. 

especially a prisoner of colors 

a prisoner in which everyone could tell me what to do

& because of my fragile self 

i would do as they please 

and take what they give me 

& lock it up inside. 

but then i remembered him

and how he was right in front of me 

and i felt 

free

content 

whole 

loved. 

on this night where the sky was as liquidly as ever 

and the stars shined like no other. 

i fell into the beauty of everything i saw, the sky and how is seems as though 

god spilled blue ink all over & the stars shined and sparkled 

like they never have before. 

i felt indifferent & cold by the smoke thats coming out of his cigarette 

and i felt his beauty sink in between my bones. 

& then i became aware of the fact that this moment right here 

i have a friend. 

finally i don't feel alone with someone 

i feel whole with that one person

imperfection 

makes everything seem perfect. 

i will no longer wonder those useful thoughts. 

i will try making alone not seem lonely anymore 

because i can say to myself that i have my own haze of blue 

and that color is around me 

day & night 

my own tint of blue. 

craving soul food

feed my soul 

feed it with music.