then just like that i was snapped back to what is reality.
then i remembered that the reality that is sitting right in front of me is my euphoric state of mind .
& that this reality
is the perfect combination
of what i called " junction & perfection"
& that all this is not a dream
this is a reality
i feel him.
i always thought that i was a prisoner to everyones eyes, a prisoner of all sorts.
especially a prisoner of colors
a prisoner in which everyone could tell me what to do
& because of my fragile self
i would do as they please
and take what they give me
& lock it up inside.
but then i remembered him
and how he was right in front of me
and i felt
on this night where the sky was as liquidly as ever
and the stars shined like no other.
i fell into the beauty of everything i saw, the sky and how is seems as though
god spilled blue ink all over & the stars shined and sparkled
like they never have before.
i felt indifferent & cold by the smoke thats coming out of his cigarette
and i felt his beauty sink in between my bones.
& then i became aware of the fact that this moment right here
i have a friend.
finally i don't feel alone with someone
i feel whole with that one person
makes everything seem perfect.
i will no longer wonder those useful thoughts.
i will try making alone not seem lonely anymore
because i can say to myself that i have my own haze of blue
and that color is around me
day & night
my own tint of blue.