Sunday, April 4, 2010

& thats why i love you.

for a small moment i felt high on the stardust & magic that diffuses from his eyes and from his blissful soul. 
then just like that i was snapped back to what is reality.
&
then i remembered that the reality that is sitting right in front of me is my euphoric state of mind .
& that this reality 
is the perfect combination 
of what i called " junction & perfection"
& that all this is not a dream
this is a reality 
i feel him. 
i always thought that i was a prisoner to everyones eyes, a prisoner of all sorts. 
especially a prisoner of colors 
a prisoner in which everyone could tell me what to do
& because of my fragile self 
i would do as they please 
and take what they give me 
& lock it up inside. 

but then i remembered him
and how he was right in front of me 
and i felt 
free
content 
whole 
loved. 
on this night where the sky was as liquidly as ever 
and the stars shined like no other. 
i fell into the beauty of everything i saw, the sky and how is seems as though 
god spilled blue ink all over & the stars shined and sparkled 
like they never have before. 
i felt indifferent & cold by the smoke thats coming out of his cigarette 
and i felt his beauty sink in between my bones. 
& then i became aware of the fact that this moment right here 
i have a friend. 
finally i don't feel alone with someone 
i feel whole with that one person
imperfection 
makes everything seem perfect. 
i will no longer wonder those useful thoughts. 
i will try making alone not seem lonely anymore 
because i can say to myself that i have my own haze of blue 
and that color is around me 
day & night 
my own tint of blue. 

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